How To Slow Play Your Texts
Have you ever been newly dating someone and the conversation just dies?
I dated a man in my early 20s who was 6 years my senior. Not that big of an age difference, but when you are 21 and they are 27 it feels big. He made a big impression on me in a lot of ways. He taught me that you date multiple people at once until you don’t. And he also informed me of something that I never even knew I did: slow play texting.
What is slow play texting, you ask? We have an episode where we cover some of this, but I figured it was important to write it out here for the people that didn’t have the time to listen. Slow play is actually a poker move. It is defined as, “A deceptive strategy in poker where a player with a strong hand bets weakly or passively to encourage opponents to stay in the pot. The goal is to make opponents feel secure and bet more, or to lure them into folding to a raise.”
Not all of this applies to slow play texting, but there is definitely an aspect of luring someone in and encouraging them to “stay in.” That’s where my kind of slow playing comes in. Have you ever met someone and vibed with them, only to have the conversation die after the first date because one or both of you didn’t ask a question and then you’re depressed and think it’s been sabotaged? Well, you’ve come to the right place.
With slow playing your texts, you make sure that conversation never dies. How do you do this? Let’s break it down:
Always ask a question back (unless it feels like you’re annoying them, in which case never text them again, lol)
NEVER say goodnight or do something to “dismiss” the conversation
If you have nothing to say in response, say nothing at all - this leaves the opportunity to say something when you actually have something to say without double texting
Don’t text them just to text. And if you do want to text them just to text, you better be saying something 1. funny 2. interesting or 3. informative
Lean into the inside jokes. Did the waiter make a weird comment on your date? Use that to your advantage during the texts.
Anyway, you get the gist here. But just in case you don’t, I will do a fake example text:
Guy: Home safe? Had a really great time tonight
Girl: Me too! Already in sweatpants about to watch my show. Have you started Presumed Innocent (OR ENTER SHOW YOU ARE WATCHING) yet?
Guy: No but it’s on my list! I’ve been binging Hacks, can’t believe it took me this long to get into it
Girl: Oh woww welcome to the good life. Who’s your favorite character?
Now WHATEVER HE RESPONDS, you can let’s say not respond until the morning (who’s to say you didn’t fall asleep) then you can start responding as if you never left the convo and keep it going. Now all of a sudden, you are communicating the next day. And so on, and so forth!
Any questions? Write in the comments and I will clarify!
L